IT’s always like this. I eat. I can’t finish my food. Then, my mom would say, there are so many other people in the world that don’t have and need the leftovers on my plate. It always made me feel so guilty. I don’t feel guilty for wasting the food, but for not wanting the food that billions of children my mom described, want. It made me wonder, would they be angry at me if they know I wasted so much food that they had wanted and needed so badly? I would be. If I was one of them I would be so angry. Then, this is the part that I loathe myself for; I would carry on and waste the food. My brain would automatically switch to not my fault mode and think that overeating isn’t going to compensate the lack of food of the billions of others out there. It’s surprising how selfish I can be, but it is true that it wouldn’t help and stuffing the food down is only going to serve one purpose--- to make myself feel better. That in itself is actually a completely selfish act, isn’t it? And so is doing any good deed at all par se, some part of the act serves the purpose of boosting our own morals, making ourselves think that we are good people when in fact we are selfish people. People can deny it, but everyone knows, it is to some degree, true. Yes, it is ugly. The truth. But that too doesn’t give us the excuse to not do any good deeds at all. Sure, we do them to better ourselves, but if it does spread happiness and love to other people, then why the hell not?
Love in itself is selfish.
We are all selfish.
But we are all selfish together, so in another perspective, we are too, all selfless.
As I have said before, we live in a world of paradoxes.
And I think that this is the best one.
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